


God's Don't Cry

by rufferto



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Drama and Romance, Jealous Loki, M/M, Pining Thor, Pre-Movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 20:43:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16626113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rufferto/pseuds/rufferto
Summary: Thor pre-movies. AU where Loki is told of his heritage and Thor reaction is indelicate at best and causes Loki to be super annoyed at him. In retaliation, Loki leaves Asgard for a few years on a diplomatic mission. He doesn't talk to Thor anymore. It is in Thor's point of view. Thor has no idea what to do to get Loki to talk to him and when Loki returns to Asgard engaged to be married Thor knew he had a limited window to  make things right. So he takes desperate measures to go get something that would force Loki to talk to him. On the way out of Asgard he bumps into his friend and occasional lover Fandral. Fandral accompanies him to Vanaheim to help him on his dangerous quest. A surprising twist reveals Loki's hand in a prank and Thor ends up on the rest of the mission with his very annoyed brother who apparently was attempting to escape his engagement. Things happen and there are feelings and admissions all over the place and problems to face together for the eventual happy ending. There is mild dub-con in this. Fandral/Thor (friends with benefits kind of thing) and Thorki endgame.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author: Rufferto@A03  
> Beta: Slasherfiend@A03  
> Artist:Lokijunkie@Tumblr
> 
> This is my first big bang and I was blessed to have one of the most amazing artists!!! I will link her art once she posts it. Thank you so much to my dear Beta for her hard work in helping me through this !!!! You guys both rock so much!!
> 
> Beautiful art by Lokijunkie has been put in the proper locations for the fic! Thank you so much.:)   
> https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/lokijunkie/180126531320 LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL ART!!!!!!!!

** CHAPTER ONE **

Asgard is a city bathed in sunlight. It sparkled like a shining beacon, spreading hope throughout the Nine Realms under Odin’s influence. There was no place like it with its tall spiraling towers and fields of color. No person was shunned or thought of as an outcast in Asgard.  All from the lowest to the highest rank are important to the Allfather. None more so than his sons, Loki and Thor. Different from each other as day and night, but such a compliment to the eye as no other vision could be. Odin was pleased, the city sparkled and life prospered.

The palace resources had been focused upon a grand festival to mark the coming of spring and new life as was always the way. From all over the nobility came with their fine clothing and entourages. The hall was filled with joy and laughter. There was drinking, merriment, and a great deal of beauty.

Thor did appreciate seeing all the grand things Asgard had in all its splendor. He did. He gazed around, but his smile did not touch his eyes.

Frigga came to him. She glided across the marble floor as if her feet were not even touching the ground. “What ails you, my son?” She touched his cheek fondly. She appreciated how fine he looked for the event she had worked so hard on, but was troubled by the way he avoided contact. Especially on such a grand night.

_So many things_ , Thor thought to himself. But to tell these things to his mother? That was something he could never do. She was kind and wise and she loved him, but he was uncertain that it was a thing she could handle or would want to know. “Nothing really, mother,” he told her. “I fear I am just overly tired tonight.”

Frigga laughed softly. “I’m sure it’s more than that, my son.” She knew part of the cause of his dilemma. “He will be here, Thor. He will come.”

Thor stifled a groan. She was more perceptive than she knew. “I hope you’re right, but even if he does come, he will not want to see me.”

“I do not know what transpired between you,” Frigga told Thor gently. “But you need to make up with him. He’s your brother.”

_He’s not._ Thor wanted to tell his mother that he knew. He knew what Loki was by accident. He’d never forgotten that night and wished to the Norns he could undo it. He gave Frigga a small smile. “He won’t even look at me, mother.”

“You must find a way to talk to him,” Frigga encouraged him gently.

Thor was thankful that she left him alone after that. Because she was wrong. It would take more than that for Loki to ever speak to him again. He closed his eyes and when he opened them he nearly caught his breath. He was there. He had come home for the event. Thor’s heart ached. He longed to go over and welcome Loki home with a hug like he would have done before.

But he knew Loki would freeze him out.

Thor was content to stray from the center of the floor and watch Loki be welcomed home by his mother and other members of the court.

Loki was as always, beautiful. Heartbreakingly so. Tall and slim with sharp facial features and thick raven hair. His eyes were so green, it was like looking into a forest in the sunshine. In the past he’d often slicked his hair back because Thor’s control over his lightning was mediocre at best. Loki never did appreciate the resulting static. But tonight, tonight his hair cascaded to his shoulders in a thick luxurious mass that Thor longed to touch. He was a sight for sore eyes.

Loki wound his way through everyone who had missed him, everyone who mattered, until eventually they came face to face.

Thor hated how nervous he was. “Brother,” he could hear himself as if he was standing a mile away. The tone was weak. “You look well.” It was the truth, he did. Thor raised his eyes.

Loki’s expression was completely indifferent. “Hello, Thor,” his younger brother said mildly. “Still running around saving people?”

Thor’s brows furrowed. It was his duty as defender of the realms. Why did Loki make it seem like a joke? “Yes.”

“Well, someone has to do it, I suppose.” Loki shrugged. He brushed his hair back over his ears. He glanced at Thor without emotion.

The indifference hurt more than anything Thor could have imagined, but he had no idea what to say. Did Loki even remember their fight? The night he fled from Thor’s chambers? Thor’s heart pounded. Loki being gone hadn’t diminished any of his feelings, they only intensified. He swallowed and took a step forward. “It’s good to see you.”

Loki gave him a suspicious look and stepped back. He looked away and responded with a sharp snap of his words, “I only came home because Mother asked me to. I’m not here for _you_.”

“Loki, please…,” Thor tried and felt as if he had been physically struck.

But Loki had already turned away from him. It was impossible. Loki would never talk to him again. It was depressing and Thor wanted to hurt something. He watched mutely as Loki danced with someone and looked like he was having a wonderful time.

As the evening wore on it became abundantly clear to him the state of things. He was, without a doubt, in love with his adopted brother. He had known it for years, had thought it a mad thing and never acted upon it.

The last straw was when he saw Loki lean forward and whisper something into the ear of a nobleman. Thor turned and left because he couldn’t take it anymore. He got to his room and threw the goblet he’d been holding against the wall with a loud scream of frustration. He ran his hands through his hair and paced the room. Images in his head taunted him about what Loki might get up to tonight. He growled and clenched his fists. There had to be some way he could fix this.

For the millionth time he went over their last conversation in his head.

_“Now you know my secret,” Loki had snapped scathingly at him. “Aren’t you revolted, Odinson?”_

_On the contrary, Thor had been completely captivated, utterly relieved and undeniably attracted. He’d traced Loki’s skin with his fingers, unable to stop himself. “All the Gods, you are beautiful.”_

_“And you’re delusional,” Loki snarled. “Let go of me, you great oaf! Norns, I thought this at least would dissuade you from this ridiculous notion you’ve got in your head. You just want me because you can’t have me.”_

_The kiss had been sudden._

_He knew he’d taken Loki by surprise but just that small taste had burned his blood for more._

_Loki had made a sound of protest, but he had responded. The kiss had been hot and heavy with need on both their sides. But Loki’s continued protest made Thor back off, since he would never force anyone._

_He’d gazed at Loki with his heart on his sleeve. He knew that he would never love anyone else. Not truly, not as much as he loved his brother._

_Loki had stared at him, horrified, scared, and more vulnerable than Thor had ever seen him. Had Loki allowed it, Thor was certain that more would have happened that night. But Loki had fled, and Thor could have sworn there were tears in his eyes._

Since that night, Loki had never spoken to him alone again. About a month later, Loki had been sent away on an ambassador assignment for a few years which continued indefinitely. All communication was ignored and he had effectively lost both his brother and the only person he would ever love.

That had been two years, nine months, and sixteen days ago.

Thor had thrown himself into his own work, the missions he did for Odin, but never did they meet. Once he had asked Heimdall if Loki was okay and Heimdall had spent several hours detailing how lovely ambassador life was treating him. He was thriving. He had more friends than he’d ever had in the past. The revelation hadn’t made Thor feel any better.

Loki would never smile at him the way he used to again.

Thor spent the rest of the evening in his chambers alone and could not bring himself to continue the celebration. He had to figure out how to deal with his feelings, sort through them, and bottle them up so that he could face the rest of the week.  
  


TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

** CHAPTER TWO  **

When the morning light caused him to wake Thor forced his eyes open tiredly. He was expected at breakfast. The family had not eaten together for a long time and Odin willed it. Thor bathed and made himself presentable. He dreaded the encounter with his brother who would only look at him with scorn. He held his head high though, he was Thor Odinson and he protected the Nine Realms. He arrived at breakfast to sit down opposite Odin, while Loki sat opposite Frigga. His mother had always had more of a soft spot for Loki than anyone else. Thor tried to smile at his brother, but Loki didn’t look at him.

The first course of the meal came and went. There was jovial talk. Odin was speaking about something grand, but Thor could not listen. This didn’t feel right. He felt a wave of depression settle on him. If he could not talk to his brother ever again, he wasn’t sure what he would do.

“What do you think, Thor, is not that wonderful news?” Odin slapped Thor on the back and jolted him out of his personal wallowing.

“What? What news? I’m sorry, father. I was not paying attention.” It was the truth, the very last thing Thor wanted was to be there.

“Loki has impressed the Alfheim king so much that he has asked that Loki stay there as a permanent resident. He has offered a marriage contract with his youngest daughter. A pretty capable girl as I recall. She’ll make a fine wife. Her name is Sigyn,” Odin said proudly. “Loki admired her and it was noticed.” He actually looked pleased with Loki for once.

Loki looked up and over at Thor, expression neutral. “Are you not going to congratulate me, brother? Perhaps I should show you an image of her.” He waved his hand to show an illusion of a beautiful girl. Young. Her hair tumbled down with beautiful blonde locks and she had the build and face of a perfect angel.

Thor felt his throat go dry. “Congratulations,” he said hoarsely. He felt sick. This was folly. Marrying Loki to a girl who didn’t know what he was? Would not appreciate him? Would not love him?

Frigga’s eyes were settled on Thor. “Are you unwell?”

“I am just tired, Mother.” Thor shook his head. “She’ll make a fine wife, Loki.” He tried to smile but his brother’s expression did not invite comradery.

“Up too late with the maidens again?” Odin laughed loudly.

Thor thanked the gods for Volstagg and Fandral, keeping his reputation intact. He shrugged. “More or less.”

Loki waved his hand and the image vanished away. “I rather like Alfheim. Their libraries are tremendous and ancient. I get lost for days.”

“I knew you would, darling.” Frigga patted his hand affectionately.

Thor couldn’t take it. He stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry.”

“Thor, what do you think you are doing?” Odin glared at his eldest son.

“I’ll see you all at dinner,” Thor mumbled. He walked off.

“Thor! Get back here!” Odin roared. He went to stand up, but Frigga pulled him to sit back down. “What is the matter with him?”

“I can’t imagine.” Loki twirled his knife around thoughtfully as he watched Thor leave.

Thor kept walking, out of the palace, out somewhere. The clouds in the sky became darker, but he was careful not to make too much of a fuss. Otherwise people would look for him.

He walked in the city, smiling as pleasantly as he could. He just kept moving. He couldn’t bear to be at the palace right now. The indifference that Loki looked at him with. The knowledge that he would have to stand there and smile and watch as Loki was married, toast his brother’s future happiness. All with a shattered heart, since Loki had effectively torn it out and crushed it.

He sighed, it did no good to think about that. All he had to focus on was some way to win back his brother’s trust. If he could have that, if he could have that comradery again he would be able to face the future. He would do anything. And that was when he remembered a tale Heimdall once told him.

Heimdall had told him many tales of the Nine Realms and their lore and treasures. He remembered all of them. Thor had an excellent memory for stories. In spite of all the times that Odin tried to get him to focus on other things, he was often more of a dreamer than Loki.

In Vanaheim, he remembered, there was a place called the Mountains of Glass, a place only those pure of heart could get to. On that mountain the Vanir tended every extinct species of flora that grew in the Nine Realms. It was a garden of botany.

Heimdall used to tell him of all the ancient flora that no longer grew and their powers. As a child he’d often wondered if the tale was just legend too. But when he was recently on Vanaheim, he’d been told The Mountains of Glass existed. There was a particular flower, he remembered. A silver orchid with a blue center, said to grow when the tears of a dying goddess fell. It had grown on Alfheim long ago. The Star Orchid had special properties. It was said to thaw the heart of the one that you love, thaw it enough for reconciliation. It was a long shot but Thor would do anything to stop Loki from looking at him like they meant nothing to each other.

At this point Thor was ready to try anything, and he didn’t have much time before the wedding.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

** CHAPTER THREE  **

Now the problem was how to escape Asgard and get to Vanaheim with supplies and not get caught. He had seen various delegations from different parts of the Nine Realms here for Loki’s formal engagement announcement, but they came and went. Delivering things back and forth, and that was when the idea came to him. He had several things in his room that would help.

So back into the palace he went, walking now with determined strides. He almost didn’t notice his friend Fandral who happened to be walking down the same hallway.

“What’s on your mind, Thor?” Fandral waved, pack swinging off one arm.

Fandral wasn’t usually in this part of the palace unless by invitation, but Thor was thinking about too much to worry about that. “Huh?” Thor glanced at Fandral and waved back. “Nothing!” He smiled, he didn’t want to get anyone else in the kind of trouble he was about to get into.

“Don’t give me that ‘nothing’ expression. I know that look well, Thor.” Fandral laughed softly. “You’re up to something. Tell me what it is.” He elbowed Thor good-naturedly. Fandral was always really good at cheering him up, but this was too dangerous and he didn’t want to get his friend in trouble with his father.

“I’m going to Vanaheim,” Thor said cheerfully, as though that was a thing that someone did every day of the week and there was no cause for concern.

“I…see.” Fandral gave him an appraising look. “Some important mission from the Allfather, no doubt?”

Thor shifted uncomfortably.

“Some dragons need slaying?”

Thor frowned.

“A good maiden’s virtue is at stake?” Fandral kept pressing him. “What in Vanaheim could otherwise interest mighty Thor? I know that is where our friend Hogun’s family is, but I have not seen him have any need to return recently, so what is this sudden urge to go to Vanaheim about? I really must know.” Fandral threw an arm over his shoulders. “Come on Thor, tell me.”

Thor exhaled. “Alright, fine. If you must know, I’m going to sneak out of Asgard, find the Star Orchard in the Mountains of Glass on Vanaheim, and I need it in order to get my brother to speak to me again.” As if he had spent days thinking about this great plan and not just fifteen minutes.

Fandral stared at him. “Well, you’ll need a wing man for such a venture. Count me in.”

“I couldn’t possibly Fandral. I’m going against Father’s orders to stay in Asgard. You could get in serious trouble,” Thor protested. His father had declared that while the people from Alfheim were there, no one could leave and especially not Thor. There hadn’t been any particular reason why, Odin always tended to just give orders and expected everyone to obey.

“Are the Vanir just going to give it to you then?” Fandral wondered.

“Well…probably not.” He hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.

“So you’ll need someone to help you create a distraction. Take me with you.” Fandral nodded firmly as if no was not an option. He slapped Thor on the back.

“There’s no chance of me dissuading you is there?” Thor gave a small smile. It would be nice to have someone to talk to.

“No!” Fandral laughed cheerfully and pushed Thor towards his room. “Let’s get your things and figure out how we’re going to get by Heimdall.”

Thor meant to ask Fandral why he already had a backpack with him, but the man just smiled and gestured towards Thor’s room. “I already thought of that.”

Once in his rooms, Thor began to put together his backpack while Fandral waited for him, idly playing with a dagger. “There’s a steady stream from the Nine Realms, back and forth. Bringing things they need from their kingdoms and taking it back. I’m going to get on one of those delegations.”

“But how?”

“In disguise, of course,” Thor said brightly. “Loki gave me a set of rings once for my name day…some centuries ago, back when he was still talking to me. Now I’ve just got to find them. They can be used for disguising a person. He gave them to me when I wanted to bring a girl into Asgard Odin didn’t like. Now, where are they?” He started rummaging for them and pulled out a huge chest from his closet.

Fandral watched him from the doorway. “How convenient that there are two.”

“Yes!” Thor exclaimed gleefully, and drew out the box he was looking for from the ornate chest. “I knew they were here somewhere.”

“What else is in that chest of yours?” Fandral asked curiously.

“Everything he’s ever given me.” Thor gazed at the collection fondly for a long moment. He picked out two arm bracers from the chest as well, his favorites.

There was an odd look on Fandral’s face. “Oh, that’s…nice.”

Thor stuffed his pack quickly, there was no sense waiting around. The longer he took, the higher chance Heimdall would notice. And if Heimdall noticed, the plan was all for naught. They had to be quick as well to disguise themselves as a Vanaheim delegation.

“So you’re really going to do this? Go against _your_ father?” Fandral asked him while he packed.

Thor frowned at the tone of voice, it wasn’t generally Fandral’s way, but he ignored it. He had too much on his mind. “Yes,” nodded Thor, “I don’t have time to think of something else. This is my only chance to fix my relationship with Loki.”

“Is it? You’re sure there’s no other way?” Fandral’s voice was a touch piqued, but there was mild acceptance there as well as if he was used to Thor’s tendency to be single-minded.

Thor strapped on the bracers. “I’m sure.” He put all of the supplies he needed into the pack. They would need to find food when they were there. He smiled suddenly at Fandral. “I’m glad you ran into me, it would have been hard to do this by myself.”

“Just imagine what you would stumble into otherwise,” Fandral scoffed.

“Come on, we don’t have time to mess around.” Thor headed for the door where Fandral stood and strode through it. “Don’t want anyone to see us. Here, I’ll give my pack to you so if anyone asks…” He had already picked up Mjölnir. “I’ll just tell them it’s yours.”

“And how are you going to hide that?” Fandral raised an eyebrow delicately at the hammer.

“Don’t tell anyone, but Mjölnir has transformation powers,” Thor said. “I learned of them recently. Anyway, here.” He handed Fandral one of the two rings. “We’ll use these once we make it out of the palace.”

As they moved forward Fandral twirled the ring in his fingers. “Huh,” he said to himself in a mild tone as though he’d forgotten some memory which had suddenly resurfaced. “Alright Thor. Lead on.” He was relieved Thor did not notice he spoke more carefully than usual. He flipped his hair back out of his eyes as he went.

Thor’s plan, though somewhat mad, actually was quite good. Fandral looked impressed as they both managed to get out of the palace without any trouble.

They ducked behind a building and Thor gestured for the rings. “Now we have to disguise ourselves.”

This was the tricky part. Fandral frowned and put the ring on. He thought of what to appear as and the magic of the ring made him appear as a Vanir. Contrary to popular belief they were not all deities, like Asgard. There were some who were powerful, but they were grander in nature and aloof. They tended to be secretive too. Then there was the nobility and the general population. Proud people, yet not of a rare look. Human. Fandral did not appear to like the change.

Thor just grinned at him. “Perfect.” He transformed Mjölnir into a walking staff and himself as someone in trade. “It’s the best way to quickly get past Heimdall.”

They waited for a while, looking for the right opportunity, and eventually they saw a group heading towards the rainbow bridge and joined them.

So far no one seemed to have noticed that the crown prince was gone from the palace. Thor didn’t mind, he knew Odin and Frigga were caught up in the details of Loki’s coming nuptials. The thought of that made him sigh. “Come on.” He nodded at Fandral. “Wait for us!” He caught up to the group.  There was no questioning of who they were. Vanir did not generally like to remain on Asgard and so two more wanting to go home wasn’t an issue.

As they got closer to the Bifrost, Thor began to worry. Perhaps he should have left Mjölnir behind, but he could not go to a dangerous spot without her. He felt the weight of Heimdall’s gaze even halfway across the bridge. He always knew. Thor glanced at Fandral, who also looked a little nervous. “Either he’ll stop us or he won’t,” Thor muttered.

The two friends eventually walked up to Heimdall with the rest of the group from Vanaheim. He swept his gaze over the lot of them, but it did not linger on any particular individual. The gate was opened.

Thor took a deep breath feeling like everything was going to fall apart in an instant.

Fandral stood beside him, fists clenched.

But Heimdall let them pass into the gate, eyes flickering over them as if he saw nothing.

They were instantly transported and found themselves in the middle of one of Vanaheim’s thriving cities. It was easy to lose the rest and remove the rings.

Thor gave a loud triumphant laugh. “I told you, nothing to worry about. My brother’s magic is very strong!” He grinned with pride as he pocketed the ring.

“They will look for you once they’ve realized you’ve gone and Heimdall should see you immediately,” Fandral pointed out as he gave Thor the leant ring.

“Heimdall’s my friend. He will give me as much time as he can.” Thor adjusted his pack. “Besides, we won’t draw attention to ourselves.”

“Have you seen a mirror lately?” Fandral fixed his hair. “The two of us are going to stand out.”

“We’ll make the best of it,” Thor declared, slapping Fandral on the back. “Come on, my friend. We must get a pair of horses. The ride is long.” He looked mildly concerned when Fandral stumbled a bit too easily.

Fandral trailed after him, which was uncharacteristic of him. Usually he was the one in front. He was relieved, however. They’d managed to escape Asgard.

 

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

** CHAPTER FOUR **

Vanaheim was beautiful, it wasn’t home, but it was beautiful. The countryside was helping immensely to clear Thor’s head. A good ride with good company and a feeling of purpose made him feel so much better. After some time of indulging in country food and the people and his favorite thing, helping the less fortunate, Thor felt more himself than he had in a long time. He talked openly with Fandral now, happy that his friend had come on the journey with him.

They didn’t talk about anything specific. Thor did not want to discuss Loki. It hurt to even think about his brother.

He stared over at Fandral though one evening at the campsite. “It’s not like I don’t deserve it.” He scowled as he thought about it. “I did do things I shouldn’t have. I just wish he hadn’t completely shut me out. He won’t even look at me. And now he’s getting married and will live off world. I might see him once a year and this is my last chance.” He tossed a piece of wood into the fire.

“I’m not sure what to tell you.” Fandral finished off the wineskin he’d been carrying. “Perhaps he just wants to be left alone. Perhaps he doesn’t think you’re serious at all.”

“How can he think that?”

“Well, you did say you were drunk at the time.”

Thor sighed. “I was, but at least he could have heard me out.”

Fandral studied his nails. “He’s spent a lot of his life waiting for attention from you. Maybe he got tired of being second best.”

“Second best?” Thor’s eyebrows lifted. “He’s never been. It’s always been him. If I look around and he’s not there I have trouble thinking. I need Loki like I need air to breathe. I have to make him see that to remember how it was between us one small mistake doesn’t change how I feel about him. He’s my brother. My other half. These years he’s been gone have been more difficult than I can say. It’s like every day a knife is in my gut.”

Fandral stared at him in some surprise. “You really feel that way?”

“Yes.” Thor shrugged.

There was silence between them for a long time.

Thor poked at the fire and rubbed the back of his neck. He did have an idea of how he needed to refocus and get himself back on track. He needed to stop thinking. “Fandral?” he asked slowly.

Fandral frowned as he turned his attention back to Thor. He’d been lost in thought.

“May I lay with you tonight?” Thor’s tone indicated that it wouldn’t be the first time. He looked at Fandral not with love sick desire. It was more of a friend needing comfort. He would just simply sleep on his own bedroll if Fandral said no, but he desperately needed to take his mind off of Loki.

“Just to clarify,” Fandral’s tone was surprisingly cold. “You want to fuck me?” He clutched his cup so hard it bent. He put it down out of sight to hide it from Thor. Thank goodness it was dark. “And you’re not drunk?”

“Of course I’m not drunk, I have only had one cup of wine.” Thor scoffed. “If you don’t want it, I understand.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just been a while.”

“How long?” Fandral snapped.

“A year maybe? I don’t keep track of these things.” Thor shook his head. He knew Fandral and the others had kept spreading rumors about his “‘conquests” and he loved them for it. The fact of the matter was, he wasn’t interested in anyone.

Fandral exhaled and inhaled, appearing to look furious for a moment which confused Thor. But after a while he squared his shoulders. “Alright.” He nodded. “Alright, fine. Yes.”

Thor’s eyes lit up, it would really help at this point to center his scattered mind. “Thank you.” He stood up and started to remove his cloak and armor.

“Wait, wait!” Fandral said breathlessly. His eyes were awfully round as he stared at Thor.

“What?” Thor wondered as he blinked at Fandral. “What’s wrong?” It wasn’t like Fandral to act like it was his first time. His tone was usually Sex? Yes please! and as far as Thor knew it didn’t really matter what species.

“Can you go slower?” Fandral swallowed and fidgeted with his hands a little bit.

“Okay.” Thor shrugged. He didn’t mind one way or the other. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done this a lot in the past. It had been better to do this with Fandral than a male in the court who would cause tongues to wag. He worked his armor off a little slower.

“Can I help you?” Fandral asked. His voice sounded dry, nervous.

“Yes.” Thor wasn’t sure why Fandral was being weird, but he just took it in stride. They usually didn’t put too much emotion into it. He watched as his friend got up and walked over.

Fandral’s hand rested briefly on Thor’s chest.

They were closer than usual, but that wasn’t what was making Thor’s heart race. He couldn’t put his finger on it. There was something different, maybe it was just his current state of mind. He shrugged it off.

Fandral took a deep breath and worked at the buckles of Thor’s armor, pulling it off piece by piece. His fingers lingered longer than usual and he gazed up with odd shyness every now and then.

Thor waited patiently, thinking nothing of it. His under armor shirt was pulled over his head finally and Fandral’s hands ran up and down his chest. Thor’s heart pounded in his ears, he’d never felt this way around his friend before. It meant nothing. It was just sex.

Long fingers played over his shoulders, caressing his muscles and slipped downwards. He closed his eyes and his treacherous mind drifted towards his brother. The last time he had seen him nude was years ago. Loki was so beautiful, so perfect. His skin was soft and felt like silk under his hands. He knew because of the many years Loki would creep into his room at night and just curl up with him. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it. He never could.

Then Fandral kissed him.

It wasn’t just any kiss, and Thor was rocked back slightly from the force of it. It was almost violent. Fandral sought entry into him and Thor accepted the advance in surprise. Instantly his body was on fire, needing, begging to be touched. His cock was rigid and leaking, and Fandral pressed himself against Thor, panting.

The look he shot at Thor was almost calculating, but Thor dismissed it. His friend did not have a duplicitous bone in his body.

Fandral quickly disrobed in front of Thor and knelt on a bedroll.

“Hold on.” Thor managed to think. He ran his hand through Fandral’s hair. “Let me get the oil.” His body had never reacted quite like this before.

Fandral simply blinked at him as if he at first had no idea what Thor meant. He got out of the way though so Thor could fetch some from his backpack. “You carry that with you?” he asked as his voice cracked a little.

“Well, yes.” Thor got down on his knees. “Lie back,” he said after a moment, finding it a little odd that Fandral wasn’t already doing so.

“Right,” Fandral muttered. His breathing was slightly hitched, and if Thor didn’t know any better he thought his friend looked almost terrified.

“Are you sure you want me to do this?” Thor rested his hands on his knees, a little confused, he’d never seen Fandral look this nervous.

“Yes!” Fandral said sharply, then more evenly. “Yes. I’m fine, Thor,” he promised. His eyes were on Thor’s cock. “Norns, you’re huge.”

Thor laughed softly and got between Fandral’s legs. “Let me open you.” He coated his fingers with oil and leaned in to kiss his friend again. The second time was even better than the first. Fandral practically clung to him, fingers threaded into his hair.

Fandral whined a little and twitched when Thor’s thick finger probed inside.

Usually it didn’t take long to get his friend prepped, he normally liked it hard and fast. This time however, it seemed that he would have to take his time. “Are you alright?” Thor asked.

Fandral’s fingers dug into his shoulders and his legs spread almost desperately. “Yes, yes. I’m fine.” He pawed at Thor’s hair. “Just keep going.” He kissed Thor to distract him.

Eventually he seemed ready enough and Thor coated his cock, but the moment he touched his head against Fandral’s entrance his friend made an awfully strange sound that was almost like a squeal. He stopped immediately. “What is it?”

“Nothing!” Fandral glared. “Keep going!” The order was so uncharacteristic, but Thor didn’t think anything of it.

He did as bidden, happy to oblige, glad to finally be able to sink his cock inside someone. It had been too long, he wouldn’t last.

Fandral’s breathy little moans and whimpers were driving him insane. He didn’t usually cry like this.

Once Thor was all the way inside he paused to stare at Fandral’s face. “What is wrong with you tonight? Would you prefer I stop?”

“It’s…It’s just been a while, so go gently Thor.” Fandral’s teeth were ground together. “Gently. Please. D-don’t stop.”

“I’m going to move now.” Thor buried his head against Fandral’s neck. His scent was different. Maybe he changed his shampoo.

Thor pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in. The resulting cry of surprise made him still again.

“T-Thor, don’t make me hurt you.” Fandral’s growl was almost animalistic. “Keep going!”

He didn’t need to be ordered twice. Thor began to establish an easy rhythm. He ran his fingers up and down Fandral’s thighs and sides, soothing his trembling. The sounds were altogether different from anything Thor remembered. They were wild and sensual and just utterly intoxicating. He had no idea his friend could even make them.

He put all those thoughts out of his mind though and focused on one thing. Bringing them both pleasure. He was a good lover that way. Thor did not think only of himself. He made sure that Fandral came first. Reaching between them to take his cock in hand and aiming for his prostrate at the same time.

“Thor-Thor—Thor!!” Fandral called out his name desperately. Clinging and touching everywhere he could. His fingers in Thor’s hair, nails raking down his back.

That was certainly a first, but Thor would ask him about it another time. When he did come, he came hard, and shuddered. There was only one person on his mind though, Loki. He almost called Loki’s name, but he held back in time.

Thor lay there for a long moment, reeling from the intensity of the encounter. He wasn’t sure what to make of it or all the confusing feelings inside.

“I’d like to sleep sometime.” Fandral finally pushed at him with an annoyed sound.

Thor pulled out and lay on his back. He didn’t know what to say. It was so different from every other time they had sex. He stared up at the stars. To his surprise, Fandral curled up next to him. It was a mystery he’d solve some other time. Right now his brain had finally quieted.

He closed his eyes and slept well for the first time in years.

 

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/lokijunkie/180126531320

 

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

** CHAPTER FIVE **

The morning was awkward to say the least.

Fandral kept his distance and they ate breakfast in silence.

Thor hoped he hadn’t upset his friend since it had been a long time and it hadn’t really meant anything to either of them. It was just comfort and yet Fandral had never acted like this before. Thor sighed and retrieved the horses. The last thing he needed was to lose his best friend over something they had been doing off and on for centuries. So he resolved to be as helpful as possible to try and overcome the tension between them.

Eventually Fandral loosened back up and was more himself by the afternoon. Even joking a little as they passed by a small village and were the subject of curiosity by some fair maidens.

Thor relaxed when he realized that no lasting harm had been done. He and Fandral were as they had always been.

“We’re getting close.” Thor checked the signs on the road. The ground was becoming somewhat brittle under their horses’ hooves, a bit like a field of shards. “The directions that I read about in the library at home noted that we need to continue on foot.”

“Why do we have to leave the horses again?” Fandral looked somewhat grumpy at that idea.

“I’ve been told they get spooked easily.” Thor shrugged. “Something about reflective surfaces on the ground.”

“Reflective surfaces?” Fandral looked more concerned than he ought to be.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” Thor gave his friend a cheerful smile. “We might run into some trouble but I doubt it will be anything we can’t handle.” He jostled Fandral’s shoulder with a laugh.

It was true, they had conquered many trials in their long years together. Thor was sure they could handle it. “As long as we avoid the Linnormr, we should be fine.”

“The _what_?” Fandral asked sharply.  “Thor, did I hear you correctly?”

“You heard me.” Thor retrieved all of his items from his horse and set her free.

“And you’re aware what a _Linnormr_ is, yes?” Fandral did not look at all excited about the possibility of fighting such a formidable creature. In fact he looked downright angry. “You couldn’t have told me about this a while ago so I could have prepared!?” He muttered something under his breath which sounded awfully like _oaf_.

Fandral never called him that. Thor’s brows knit together, and he was about to say something when his friend just shrugged a shoulder and picked up his own pack. “Well, I’ll think of a plan along the way. We shouldn’t stand around.”

“I do know what a Linnormr is. It is a fabulous creature. I will enjoy bringing its head back to Loki as a gift if it chooses to engage us,” Thor said nonchalantly. ”A great serpent with a dragon-like head. It usually has arms in the upper body so it can use weapons. The tail is said to have barbs. The legend says that the serpent can enchant you so we must be wary, for we do not want to be caught in its constricting coils before we reach the base of the mountain. It uses the reflections in the glassy stone to snare pray so have care. Do not be drawn in by your own pretty face, Fandral.” Thor grinned wolfishly. Usually, when he provoked his friend by harmless flirting, Fandral was receptive and returned in kind.

This time he didn’t.

Thor noted that Fandral only scowled. And as they continued their journey he began to notice little things. There was a difference to Fandral’s demeanor.

As they went on he began to suspect that something was wrong. There were people who could shapeshift in Asgard but he wasn’t sure who would risk posing as an intimate friend of Thor. Their relationship was a secret kept only by the Warriors Three. Even Sif did not know. It would be folly indeed to do harm to a friend of his. If what he suspected was true and this was an imposter, there would be severe consequences.

When they were well into the forest before the mountain, Thor kept both an eye on their surroundings and his ‘friend’. He had been warned not to go off the main path.

Fandral seemed to want to ask him something so he glanced backwards. “What is it?” Thor looked at Fandral quizzically.

“Why would you want to bring Loki a gift like that?” Fandral burst out finally. “He doesn’t like that sort of thing. He’s never truly been on any hunt we’ve ever been on. I thought we were finding a flower, not bringing home a trophy.”

Thor raised an eyebrow at the imposter’s cranky behavior and sudden concern for his brother. “We are. I’m sure my brother will like it. After all, I would have killed it in his name.”

“Fantastic,” Fandral muttered. “I’m sure _that_ is a great plan.”

Fandral’s mood worsened as they kept going and Thor wasn’t sure why.

The imposter posing as Fandral could have stopped things from happening the night before, but he didn’t if that was the source of their change in mood.

Thor would never have forced anyone. It was not in his nature. He had too much respect for people.

He reflected back on the time that he insulted Loki so terribly. The night he was drunk. Could his brother really be that upset by his actions? Unless he found that flower, he would never know. Loki had been so angry the next day. He reflected on how many times he’d tried to talk to Loki about it and had been rebuffed.

Even if the person was masquerading as Fandral, Thor still didn’t want them to feel terrible like Loki had. It was comfort he’d been seeking and that was all.

“Fandral, did I hurt you too much last night?” Thor asked carefully.

Fandral’s head whipped around suddenly. “What? No,” he said too quickly. “It’s nothing to worry about Thor.”

“I would not normally, but you seem very upset today and I apologize if I did anything wrong.” Thor tried to sound normal. He was worried now, what if the person masquerading as Fandral was someone who had never done that before?

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Fandral almost snapped. “I just have a headache today, that’s all.” He gave Thor a tired smile. “It was actually quite something. I guess things were pent up a bit.”

Thor had been a little rougher than usual. “A bit. As long as you’re okay. That is all that matters. You know that you could have said no, yes?”

Fandral looked away. “I know. I wanted it, Thor.” He cleared his throat. “There’s no need to get poetic. It was just sex. Nothing we haven’t done before. Like I said, I have a headache.” He shook his head dismissively. “It will pass. We’re still friends as we have always been.”

“Thank you.” Thor took Fandral’s hand and squeezed his fingers. “That means a great deal to me.” His heart quickened and he couldn’t understand the urge he felt to touch Fandral’s hair and brush it back. He was not in love with Fandral, he never had been.

This was different. It felt instinctive. He felt drawn to him. Thor wanted very badly to kiss him. So much so that it was overtaking any desire to be earnest. He only ever felt like this with one other person. This savage pull.

Fandral swallowed and looked down at their connected fingers. He played with Thor’s fingers briefly and then gently pulled them apart. “Thor, we have to cover ground if we are going to get to the mountains by nightfall,” Fandral reminded him firmly. “We don’t really have time for…”

Thor took Fandral by surprise and kissed him.

This was different from every other time; every fiber of his being had wanted him to kiss the person standing there. He felt a slight resistance at first, but then hands were in his hair and Fandral’s body was pressed up against him eager for more. He closed his eyes and played with the softness of his friend’s hair. Their tongues tangled together and Thor could smell a sprinkle of Myrrh, as he had suspected, a mystical substance. He could also taste something else, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. It was something unique and he was sure he hadn’t encountered it before. It was savory rather than sweet and almost addicting. Thor wanted more of it. He craved it. He pushed Fandral back against a tree.

Fandral’s hands were clutching his shoulders, fingernails digging in.

Thor had never felt anything like that before. It moved through his entire body like crashing waves setting every part of his being on fire.

When he pulled away for breath they were both panting and heated.

Fandral gazed at him in shock. “Don’t do that again,” he snapped and tugged away from Thor. His brow furrowed as he attempted to start moving again. “Wait…what happened to the path?”

Wrenched cruelly away from his passionate state Thor blinked in confusion. They had just been on the path! How did that happen?!

“Oh you utter and complete cretin!” Fandral growled furiously at him. “Now you’ve done it, you distracted us!”

They were in the Linnormr’s power now _._

Thor realized that Fandral was right and took out Mjölnir. He ignored the insult and how unlike that was of his friend. They didn’t have time to fight each other. With the forest now looming around them they would need to get through it. “I could fly up,” he considered.

“No wait!” Fandral warned.

Thor had already begun to churn the hammer and create the force he needed to get up into the air. He grinned brightly and leaped up. Only to get smacked down by a great swoosh of wind that he wasn’t controlling. Thor hit the ground, creating a dent, and groaned.

“It’s magic,” Fandral stated the obvious. “We can’t get out going up.” He offered his hand to pull Thor back up to his feet. “Don’t try that again.”

Thor let Fandral lift him up. He was about to say something when they both heard a slithering noise. Thor cursed under his breath, looking around for the creature. He and Fandral stood back to back. “Do you see it?”

“No, do you?” Fandral responded, then he yelped as something swept underneath him and knocked him to the ground. “It’s camouflaged!” He cried too late as the snake grabbed his ankle and tugged him across the ground into the bushes. “Thor!” He screamed as he scrabbled at the ground. Then suddenly he was gone and Thor was alone in the small clearing.

“Fandral!” Thor cried out. From within the brush of the forest he could hear the sounds of fighting. To the right, then to the left. He heard Fandral’s battle cries.

A great smash echoed through the trees and he thought he spotted some magical fire.

Fandral was hurled through the tree, screaming, and crashed into Thor.

When Thor was finally able to stand up he looked down to see if Fandral was alright.

Thor had never been more shocked in his life, even though he had known it wasn’t Fandral. The last person he expected was Loki.

It was not Fandral on the ground at all. Not at all.

There was really no explanation as to how he hadn’t seen it. There were a lot of signs. He was mortified. He was angry. He was stunned. Above it all he felt betrayed. It had to be some kind of merciless trick. He opened his mouth and closed it, forgetting that they were in the middle of a battle. All the feelings he’d had he should have recognized. He should have known. There was no excuse for it. He went from high to low and to confusion in the space of a few seconds. Then he was furious.

Thor stared, mouth open, stunned. “Loki!?” It wasn’t entirely a surprise. After all Loki had shifted before him in the past. He just hadn’t considered the possibility that Loki would have gone so far. He hadn’t even known Loki would stomach even so much as a kiss from him.

Loki looked back up at him with an expression that indicated that he considered the entire situation Thor’s fault. Technically, that was true. “Surprise,” muttered Loki as he scrambled to his feet and dusted himself off.

Thor continued to stare, flush and sputter.   

“There really is no time to make such a fuss, brother. A very angry dragon snake is on the way. Could you focus on the hammer you fight with instead of the other one please?” Loki lifted his chin proudly and conjured a dagger. Without another word, he turned to face their foe.

They both charged the creature coming their way.

 

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**  

Thor panted hard from the exertion of battle.

They were eventually victorious, so at least there was that.

The problem remained that not only had he been right, an imposter had taken Fandral’s form, but that imposter was Loki himself. The lie aside, they had intimate relations and Thor did not know what to do with that. He wasn’t sure if there was any point in staying on the path to the flower now that Loki was here.

Loki didn’t look at him, he cleaned his daggers on a cloth and cut off the useful parts of the creature that were probably magical.

Thor wouldn’t have known which bits to take.

He tried to make sense of why Loki had pretended to be Fandral. Was this just an elaborate prank? Some mischief that he lost control over? That had happened many times in the past.

Loki had a tendency to start things and see them through in spite of how they turned out. Was this one of those occasions? He could have stopped what happened at any time! The lack of words available for this situation made Thor more frustrated than he’d ever been.

“Stop thinking,” Loki snapped. “You’re burning a hole in the ground doing that, Thor.” He sheathed his daggers and brushed the blood out of his hair with a little magic.

“How can you just stand there?” Thor clenched his fists. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“It’s not as if I knew something had been going on with you and Fandral.” Loki glared at him, accusing. “You never said anything about it!” He looked furious.

What right did Loki have to be angry? He wasn’t the one who had been lied to and manipulated. He wasn’t the one given the cold shoulder for years. He wasn’t the one that lost his brother over one indiscretion that he had tried to apologize for many times. “It was private!” Thor yelled back.

“I’m your brother, you should have told me. I’ve heard about every maiden you’ve ever been with!” Loki fumed. “You never once told me about Fandral! You didn’t say anything even after I told you everything! You made fun of me instead.”

“I don’t recall making fun of you,” Thor stared.

“You were drunk, how could you recall anything?” Loki shoved at him. “Wait…w--what do you remember?” He clutched at Thor’s armor.

“You’re asking me this now?” Thor’s eyebrows climbed. “It’s been over two years, Loki. Of course I remember the night we found out you were adopted. You were upset so I had gone to comfort you. You told me you didn’t think anyone would have you. You told me you preferred men. I remember being relieved, then I stepped towards you. You got angry and didn’t want me closer, then you showed me why you were so angry. You showed me your secret, your true form, and I thought you were the most beautiful being I’d ever seen. I was enthralled and then I kissed you. You slapped me and haven’t spoken to me since.”

Loki’s face paled. “You were drunk, Thor.”

“I was a little,” Thor agreed. “But I knew exactly what I was doing that night. I wanted you and I thought you were telling me you wanted me too in telling me you preferred men. I thought you were trying to get me to figure it out as usual.”

“You were drunk,” Loki repeated. He closed his eyes and stepped away from Thor. “You didn’t mean it. Oh…” His lips trembled. He looked at his hands. “Y-you…” He swallowed hard.

“I DID mean it.” Thor gripped Loki’s shoulders.

“You’re not interested in men,” Loki said weakly. “You’ve slept with lots of maidens. I h-hear about it all the time.” He stiffened under Thor’s grips, hands nervously wringing together.

“I was going to tell you that night but you shoved out of my room and refused to talk to me.” Thor let go of Loki and rubbed the back of his neck. “Loki, I…” He sighed. None of this made any difference. Loki was getting married. “I’m sorry for what happened. I truly am. I did not mean to make you feel like I insulted you that day or was making fun of you. I truly meant what I said. When you showed me I was stunned. For all our lives we’ve been told the frost giants were monsters and yet there you were. Stunningly beautiful, absolutely unbelievable, and I was so turned on I couldn’t think. I’ve always been attracted to you, but seeing your true form?” Thor smiled at the memory. “Loki, I felt blessed. Like a god was truly in my presence. Had you given me the time I would have gone down on my knees, I was overcome.”

Loki closed his eyes, took several deep breaths, and opened them again. It looked a bit like he was unable to focus properly. “It wasn’t a joke. You weren’t drunk.” He swallowed again. “You and F-Fandral. Is it serious? Is he your lover?” His eyes were wide and full of shock. He looked like he might fall over any second.

“No and yes.” Thor was always honest. “Fandral has many pursuits but he is extremely good at being discreet when he wants to be. When I need comfort of a particular kind, he was there. It was easier than choosing someone who might spread rumors.”  

Loki’s eyes darkened. “You think it’s shameful.” His tone was accusing.

“I do not.” Thor shook his head. “It is just not common. Loki, you have to believe me. All I wanted to do was come here to find something that would make you talk to me…I didn’t want us to be at odds with each other forever. I wanted my brother back.”

“That’s all?” Loki looked away. “That’s all you want?”

“Of course. Anything else is impossible. I know that.” Thor tried to smile. He wished it could be otherwise, but things were the way they were. “I was overcome that day. I’m so sorry Loki.”

“You’re sorry,” Loki responded slowly.

Thor wasn’t sure why Loki was reacting this way. It didn’t make any sense. “Loki? Will you not forgive me?”

Loki was silent for several minutes.

He glared at Thor in such a way that made Thor begin to realize there was more to this. There was something he was missing, and he wasn’t sure what.

“I’m not going back to Asgard.” Loki gave a boneless shrug, closing off. “I only used the opportunity you provided so that I could escape.”

“What do you mean escape? You’re engaged to be married! I thought you were happy?” It wasn’t lost on Thor that Loki hadn’t answered the question. “Princess Sigyn is beautiful. It will take time, but I’m sure she will accept your true form.”

Loki grunted. “You’re an idiot,” he snapped. “She orchestrated the whole thing. Odin would not listen to reason and here I am. Quite possibly because he couldn’t imagine anyone else would want me.”

“She tricked _you_?”

“I’m not infallible. She forced a compromising situation.” Loki sighed. “I am not as knowledgeable about ladies as you and your friends and normally I am not the target, you are. I was taken by surprise.”

Thor wondered that if he could help Loki out of this situation he’d be forgiven. There had to be some way he could release Loki from this unwanted marriage. “Don’t run away, Loki.” Thor took one of his hands and gently squeezed it. “I’ll help you. She schemed her way into this but we can work something out that will spoil her plans.”

“It’s too late, Thor.” Loki shook his head, eyes watering slightly.

“No, it isn’t, not if we do it together,” Thor assured him. “Trust me, brother.”

“I don’t believe it. So, are we going back now since you don’t actually need that flower anymore?” Loki asked with a dull smile.

Thor put the palm of his hand against Loki’s cheek, who flinched. “You’re talking to me now.” He smiled back, ignoring the flinch. “That was my quest, to get you to talk to me.”

“Thor, we haven’t actually _talked_ ,” Loki muttered as Thor retrieved his hammer.

“Of course we have.” Thor looked cheerful for the first time in years. He draped his arm over Loki’s shoulders. He had everything he needed. “Everything will work out.”

“You’ve conveniently left out the elephant in the room, Thor.” Loki jerked out of Thor’s arm. “We haven’t talked at all!”

“Loki, I don’t understand? It was obviously a mistake.” Thor lifted his hands up a little trying to calm down his brother. He was fairly certain Loki was talking about having sex the night before? Was it more than that? He scratched his head. Loki was a mystery at times. What was the problem? Thor hadn’t known who he was.

“Mistake!?!” Loki stared, absolutely fuming. “You did not just say that, you incompetent buffoon!” He whipped around on his heel, his back to Thor. “Get me out of this infernal forest before I slice off something you can’t grow back.”

So much for talking. Thor sighed. “I’m not entirely sure how. We’re lost, Loki.”

“Fabulous,” Loki sneered. “How wondrous are your tracking skills, _Odinson.”_

“Fandral is the tracker. Use your magic?” Thor ignored Loki’s mockery.

“I expended a lot of it fighting the Dragon Snake.” Loki’s jaw tightened as Fandral’s name was spoken. He folded his arms over his chest and seethed. He looked like he’d rather chew glass than help Thor figure out what to do. “You got us into this, you can get us out. You are the _mighty_ Thor. Perhaps you can _punch_ the trees down.” His words dripped with sarcasm to ensure that his displeasure was quite clear.

“I would try, but you saw what happened when I attempted to get us out of here using the hammer,” Thor responded patiently.

Loki threw up his hands in frustration. “Just don’t touch me.” He looked around. “This is a visual maze. The forest is tricking our eyes.” Perhaps he felt like helping after all.

Thor nodded, Loki’s moods were as mercurial in nature as the waters of an ocean. He learned a long time ago to just ride them as they happened and react as he needed to.

The problem was that right now he was stuck. He didn’t know what direction to go in and he hadn’t expected it to be so difficult to locate. He needed a little luck.  

While he was waiting for Loki to assess the situation, he noticed a flash of white deeper in the forest. For a moment he thought he had to be seeing things, but he saw it again and it had more shape to it. It wasn’t long before Thor recognized the creature.

It had taken the shape of a beautiful deer. He’d seen her before, Frigga had told him what she meant, and that he must always follow her for she protected the family of Odin. The Hamingja, a personification of luck sometimes appeared when one needed direction.

“This way,” Thor told Loki, gesturing in what seemed like a random way deep into the forest.

Loki peered after him. “What? Why? I was just working something out.”

“I think we have to go deeper in to get out,” Thor said earnestly. “Perhaps we need to actually find what I came here to look for before we can leave.” Thor knew better than to try and explain the Hamingja. She would not appear to Loki, Loki was adopted. He did not have the blood of Odin.

Loki obviously didn’t like that logic, but they didn’t have a better direction to go in. “You better be right about this.” He was calmer now. It was obvious he was still angry, but at least he seemed to have his emotions under control.

Thor exhaled. “Come on.” He started moving. Whatever Loki was upset about now would have to wait. He needed to get them out of this forest first.

Thor didn’t feel like he was at all to blame. Loki had been the one to change into Fandral. He had every opportunity to come clean and stop it from happening. If anyone was upset, it ought to be him. At least Loki knew what was happening.

He glanced back at his brother and tried a bright smile. As luck would have it, the sun shone through the trees in just the right way to light him up.

“Stop trying to blind me, I’m coming,” Loki muttered, and followed Thor.

 

TBC..


	7. Chapter 7

** CHAPTER SEVEN **

Thor’s solution turned out to be the right one.

After a few hours of extremely uncomfortable silence they finally found themselves at the base of the mountain.

“You’ve been very quiet, are you not talking to me again?”

Loki’s lips curled and he glared at Thor. “You don’t want to talk about what I want to talk about!” he replied with a snarl.

Thor sighed and ran both hands through his hair in frustration. “Alright!” He threw up his hands. “Fine. Let’s talk. Why are you angry at me for that? You could have stopped it any time!”

“That’s not what I…it’s not what I’m angry about, Thor.” Loki frowned. “I didn’t stop it because I wanted it.”

Thor hadn’t been expecting that. His mouth opened slightly. “You did? I always thought…”

Loki glared at him.

“I thought it was just me,” Thor’s words came out in a rush.

“What I’m mad about is that I had to learn about you and Fandral the hard way.” Loki huffed. “You could have told me. You obviously don’t trust me as I thought you did. That’s what I’m mad about, Thor. You say you love me. You say you want me, but you don’t trust me. You don’t trust me at all.” Loki tried not to sniffle, but tears formed in his eyes. “Y-you had a relationship with Fandral.” He angrily flicked the tears away from his eyes.

“Loki,” Thor whispered as he stepped forward and hesitantly reached for Loki’s shoulders.

Loki flinched, but he didn’t pull away, so Thor took that as a good sign.

He gently massaged Loki’s shoulders, soothing him like he had done when they were younger, and Loki was upset about something. “It wasn’t like that. I needed someone who could be discreet. That is all it is, I swear it.”

Loki nodded finally. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His snarl transformed into an adorable pout. He didn’t move to pull away from Thor’s grip. His eyes were bright as he gazed at Thor. His lower lip trembled.

Thor unconsciously moved one hand to the back of Loki’s neck. “I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. It is not exactly a common subject. Obviously that can’t happen again between us, right? Sex?”

“Obviously,” Loki snapped. In spite of that he leaned into Thor’s touch.

When Thor stepped closer he searched Loki’s eyes. The fateful day that he had first kissed Loki, he’d been overcome by the beautiful form before him. The stunning Jotun prince he’d never seen before. His misplaced desires had cost him his brother and one false move now might destroy their relationship forever. Unfortunately, those same feelings were churning in his gut right now. It took every ounce of Thor’s control not to recreate his original offense. His eyes dropped to Loki’s full inviting lips. His brother’s bottom lip was slightly bruised because he’d been nibbling it nervously. Loki wasn’t making this easy. 

"If you're planning on ravishing me, I'd appreciate if you'd get on with it." Loki's sharp tongue effectively killed every notion Thor might have had of kissing him.

"I'm not," stammered Thor. He released his grip on Loki's shoulders immediately, staring at his hands as if he'd never seen them before.

“Pity,” said Loki with a mild tone. “I was looking forward to stabbing you in the groin.”

They were both quiet for a few minutes that seemed to stretch for years, each glaring at the other.

Once again, the issue between them wasn’t resolved. Loki didn’t make it any easier. He didn’t offer any explanation. He didn’t try. He seemed to always expect Thor to figure out what was in his head.

“This can’t continue, Loki. We must get past this.”

“I thought that was the whole reason for your mission. Wasn’t it to find this mystical flower that is supposed to solve all your problems with me?” Loki was plainly still irritated. “Why must we?” he demanded. “Is your conscious so burdened by the fact that you fucked me and you want to do it again?”

The tone of Loki’s voice was filled with mockery and Thor hated it. He grunted, and turned his attention back to the problem at hand because he couldn’t trust himself otherwise. He did not miss the look of annoyance in Loki’s eyes, he just chose to change the subject and put distance between them. They still had to find their way out of this place. That meant finding the aforementioned flower.

“There’s a shrine to Odin that it grows at.” Thor completely ignored Loki’s questions. “Can you sense with your magic a path that we can take up the mountain?”

Loki huffed a little and flipped his hair back. “I can sense a cliff you can jump off of.” He attempted to move Thor out of his way. He shoved Thor, which was ineffectual of course.

Thor gave a low laugh of amusement.

Loki just glared at him, “Move, you oaf!” he growled.

“Make me.” Thor knew he was being childish. He stood there with his arms across his chest.

Loki summoned a dagger.

Thor wisely stepped aside.

“At least you’re learning.” Loki started to move across the rocks. “You’re lucky I don’t just stab you out of spite.”

The rocks shimmered like glass, creating a deceptive series of false ground. Mirror images. The rocks were the reason why the mountains were called what they were. They were treacherous to those who could not find the way.

“Follow me and don’t step anywhere I do not. The sooner we get past this shimmering rock, the sooner we’ll get what we came for.”

Thor nodded and followed Loki.

The journey took longer than expected. The mountain base winded round and around as they kept going up.

Long hours passed.

Thor was starting to develop a headache which was somewhat odd.

In front of him, Loki winced.

“Loki are you alright?” Thor asked.

“I’m fine. Just a little bit further,” Loki insisted.

Around them a small mist had formed. It was cold and chilled Thor’s bones.

Loki didn’t seem all that affected by it, but the cold had never bothered him.

Thor’s vision blurred a little. “Loki!”

“Just keep going. We’re almost through!” Loki called back. “Focus on me. I’m using magic to protect us. Don’t look around. Just keep your mind on me.”

Thor did as instructed, hand wrapped firmly around his hammer. His head pounded, but he did everything he could to keep his attention on Loki. No matter what tried to distract him. There were images, flashes to get his attention, but he kept watching Loki.

Thor really struggled, he didn’t like to lose track of his surroundings, it was disorienting and he was getting angry. He brought a hand to his face and rubbed it. He cried out. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the blurred vision. “Loki!” He felt himself loose footing, but Loki reached back and grabbed his hand.

“We’re here. We made it.” Loki tugged Thor towards him and suddenly the mist dissipated, the ground underneath became solid and they stood in a beautiful hidden sanctuary. A place protected from above and below.

“Get off!” Loki pushed at Thor.

Thor scrambled back. He checked out the beauty around them, open mouthed.

It was certainly a shrine. Gold dripped columns everywhere, pools of sparkling water, busts of Odin, exquisite work. All of it having stood the test of tens of thousands of years. The sun shone through, brilliant in the sky above making their trek up seem like a dream. There were little slivers of light that danced around the place. They moved too fast to determine their nature.

Thor reached up with his hand towards one, curious, drawn to the unnatural form.

“Old magic,” Loki hissed, pulling Thor back from one. “Don’t touch them. They’ll addle your already challenged brain.”

Thor glared at him.

They moved in silence through the beautiful garden which contained species of flowers from many different realms, but it was the center which had Thor’s interest. A golden gazebo that perched at the edge of a treacherous cliff.

“There it is.” He indicated the fountain inside.

Loki stared at the fountain. “The tears of Freya. I read about this.” He exhaled. “There’s a poem that I recall, Thor. Father had once been in love with the Vanir goddess Freya, daughter of Njord. She did not love him back. It was Frigga that Odin was bound to marry, but it wasn’t mother who had his attention. I never really put any merit into it, it seemed like just a shoddy tale to discredit him. Unfortunately, here we are. As the story goes, Freya and Frigga fought for Odin and Frigga won. During the battle, Freya’s brother Freyr was slain. Heartbroken, Freya cried tears and blamed Odin. Rightfully she took Freyr here to try and heal him. Odin found her in this temple, but Freya would not go with him. She told him that Frigga had won the battle and she would stay here and die with her brother. Odin was overcome and realized how poorly he had treated mother almost too late. He healed Freyr to stop her from dying of a broken heart because he truly did love her. For his actions, Freya gave him the Brísingamen to give to Frigga as a wedding gift. She made him promise never to try and take her from her brother again. Ever since then this place has been known to be the place where truths are revealed. The Star Orchid grows here, born from her tears for the person she cared about more than life itself. Her brother. It is said that the orchid will…”

Loki ran his hands through his hair, pausing in his steps. “Thor, I can’t.” He didn’t realize he was turning into his Jotun form the closer he got to the fountain. “No.” He backed up, pale. “I’m a monster.” He stared as his arms turned blue. “This is my truth!” He shouted angrily.

The real issue all along, the thing that had torn them apart.

“I’m not your brother, Thor.” Loki stared at himself in the fountain’s reflection and reached down to smack the waters as if he couldn’t stand the sight of himself. “I can never be your equal.” Loki’s voice trembled with anger and disgust. “I’m a _monster_.” He sank to his knees and tears gathered in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered. “My real family threw me away.”

“Loki…” Thor walked over to him carefully and knelt down. He put a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll _always_ be my brother.”

Loki leaned his head against Thor’s hand. “How can you even stand to look at me? Fifteen hundred years, Thor, all of it a _lie_. Can you not see how I can no longer do what…,” he swallowed, “ _your_ father wants? I’m nothing more than the spoils of war.”

Thor reached down to take one of Loki’s hands and held it between both of his. “I’m not going to tell you your true appearance is strange and foreign. Look at me, Loki,” he begged. “Please listen to me.”

Loki had no choice and looked up, angry tears still shimmering in his red eyes.

“I do not feel the need to recoil in fear. I see such exotic beauty in you, I was so overcome when you first showed me. I did not think and I will forever be ashamed of my actions.” Thor lifted Loki’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “I love you. That’s my truth, Loki. I always have and I always will. I don’t just love you as my brother. I ache for you, I yearn for you…I curse myself for things I want when it comes to you. Rest assured, however, that I will never force you to feel the same or want the same. All I truly desire Loki, is to have my brother back. I can live with anything else. I don’t need you to feel the same way I do, to want what I want or indulge me.”

Loki listened to everything Thor had to say with trembling lips and a few soft breaths.

The air was chilly in the empty temple and yet crisp and pure.

Thor searched his brother’s eyes and hoped his words got through. It didn’t matter to him if Loki didn’t want him as a lover. He could not face so many future years without his brother. Loki understood him more than anyone else did. He could read his moods and arrange things to calm him down. He was a both a constant thorn and a welcome ray of light in Thor’s life. Thor could not imagine being without Loki, living for thousands of years alone on Asgard. “Please.” He exhaled. He was not above begging.

“You have me back as your brother, Thor. As to the rest, I’ll think about it,” responded Loki with a breathless sigh. He shuddered and tugged his hand away from Thor’s.

It was better than nothing. Thor rejoiced inside and yet tried not to feel stung by the way Loki had rejected his touch.

“I will tell you this.” Loki stepped farther away from the fountain and relaxed when his Asgardian image slipped back into place. “If and when I decide to be your lover, I will not be a trinket you take out when you want to be satisfied. I am nobody’s harlot.”

Thor didn’t know how that was going to work out, but Loki’s words gave him some hope. At least they had gotten to the bottom of the issue. Loki didn’t think himself equal to Thor because he was not a true Asgardian. “You are not.” Thor nodded. He got to his feet.

“Hmm.” Loki snorted. He got as far away from the fountain as possible and looked for a place to set up camp.

They would need to, it was getting dark, and they would have to go down the mountain to get home.

“Unless you are going to ask Heimdall to return us home, we’ll have to stay the night here.”

Considering they were both here against Odin’s expressed command, Thor wasn’t sure he wanted to go back home that way.

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/lokijunkie/180126531320

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

** CHAPTER EIGHT **

The night that descended upon the mountain was cold and dark. There was a soft glowing light by the fountain, but that was all.

Loki had tried to start a fire with magic, but the fire didn’t catch.

Thor tried to start one the old-fashioned way but had no luck either.

Loki didn’t mind the cold, but Thor was not a frost giant. So Loki had deigned to sleep curled against his brother to keep him warm.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was the first time Thor ha d held his brother like this since they were teenagers. He’d managed to fall into a deep sleep until he felt a sharp jab in his arm.

“Wh—,” Thor opened one eye groggily. To his surprise Loki punched and kicked until Thor finally let go. “What’s wrong? What did I do?” He got to his feet. He watched his brother scramble to his feet and get several feet away before he managed to calm down. “No one’s going to hurt you, Loki.”

Loki panted heavily and stared wildly at Thor as if terrified. He had a dagger in one hand. “S-stay…away,” he rasped. “Just let me breathe.”

Thor felt a little better hearing him say something rational. He waited where he was and tried to loan whatever strength he could.

Loki eventually took several breaths and closed his eyes. He shuddered and the dagger vanished. “Recurring nightmare,” he explained tersely.

Thor frowned. “You didn’t used to have nightmares? When did this start?”

“About a week after I left Asgard.” Loki’s lower lip trembled slightly. “I just. I just wanted to come home but my pride wouldn’t let me. I…I wanted to prove to Odin that even if I was not his actual son, I was of equal worth to you.”

“Loki, you are!”

“I’m not.” Loki shook his head, “I’ll never be worthy of the throne of Asgard, Thor. I’m a runt giant from a race that your people look down on.”

“OUR people,” Thor insisted. “Why did the nightmares start? Did something happen?”

“Nothing really.” Loki shook his head. “It was just…well…a…a feeling?” He let Thor get closer to him and sort of leaned against him. “I would wake up…and…I would want to…you know like when we were younger. I would come to your room. It wasn’t possible though.” He flushed. “You were on Asgard, and I was not, and we weren’t talking.”

Thor stared at him, blinking a bit stupidly. “You missed me.” In all their time together, there hadn’t been a single day that passed where Thor and Loki had not been there together at some point. “I missed you too.” A slow grin spread across his face.

“But you didn’t dream of missing the chance to ever make things right. The dreams escalated to nightmares about coming home to your body, to Asgard’s destruction. Thinking it was my fault…that I…I was responsible. Ugh…” Loki growled. “This place is making me talk too much.”

“You missed me.” Thor was fixated on that bit. “You had nightmares because you missed me. You wanted to come home to me.”

“Yes.” Loki shoved at him half-heartedly in annoyance. “You’re too close.”

“Loki,” Thor rubbed his knuckles against Loki’s shoulder. “You know how I feel.”

“Of course I feel the same,” Loki grumbled. “Why do you think I ran away from you?” He picked at the grass. “Odin will never let a runt giant be with his perfect son much less a runt that was raised as your brother. Besides, I’m engaged.” He choked back a hard laugh. “And what’s worse, she’s nice, I don’t want to hurt her.”

“You’re not thinking of marrying her are you? You can’t!” Thor shook his head.

“It’s not like I have a choice, Odin announced it already.” Loki made a small noise of defeat. “I’m going to have to go back to Alfheim with her. I’ll see you rarely, if at all.” He clenched his fists.

“We’ll just tell Odin it was a mistake.”

“And ruin my chances of ever being worth something in his eyes?!” Loki snarled. “No, I won’t go back on my word, Thor. Odin will despise me.”

“So you marry this Sigyn, and that’s it?” Thor put both hands on Loki’s shoulders. “What about us?”

“There is no us, Thor. There never could be.” Loki shook his head obstinately. “There is Thor and there is Loki but were not meant to be together. This is all we have.” He put a hand on Thor’s chest. “Here and now, in this place.”

“No, I don’t believe that.” Thor shook his head. He slid his fingers through Loki’s hair, reveling in the feeling of it. Every time Loki got this close his body would flare up with heat, desire, and just a burning need. He opened his mouth to say something else, but was silenced as Loki’s lips suddenly crashed into his.

Thor was thrown down to the ground and Loki climbed on top of him. “Norns, Thor,” Loki growled. “If tonight is going to be our last, then I want you to shut up and fuck me.”

“It won’t be our last.” Thor shook his head, convinced he could do something. He would do something! He would not let Loki down again.

Loki’s lips curled, he snapped his fingers and their clothes were on the ground.

Thor’s eyes widened. “No patience to let me take my t--…”  He groaned as Loki rolled his hips. “Fuck,” he swore, he was hard already. Loki hardly had to do anything to make that happen.

“I think I want to forgo the usual preparations,” Loki said impatiently, as though it wasn’t up to Thor.

Thor could only nod. He rested his hands on Loki’s bare thighs and stroked them carefully.

He couldn’t believe it was finally happening. Loki, Loki as himself sitting on top of him. His beautiful, amazing Loki.

As Thor gazed up at Loki he vowed he would do everything in his power to keep Loki by his side. Even if it meant defying Odin.

Loki did something with his magic which slicked his entrance and he positioned himself against Thor’s cock. “Enter me,” he commanded, his lips pursed, and he glared down at Thor almost as if he was challenging him.

Thor was up to that challenge. He thrust eagerly into Loki, as far as he could.

Loki groaned and nearly lost his balance. He fell forward and rested his hands on Thor’s chest.

The kiss that followed was messy and intense and went through his whole body. Thor knew he’d never kiss another the same way.

Loki dug his fingers into Thor’s skin and began to move his hips, meeting each vigorous thrust. “Thor, ahh…,” he cried out.

Thor wanted to remember every detail, every expression and sound Loki made. This was what he had dreamed of for years. This was everything he had ever wanted.

The stars winked in the sky above them and the air was sharp and a little static.

He could feel his body surging with power. He loved it beyond anything he could imagine. He hadn’t experienced it the night before, this was different. They were both into it. He could feel Loki’s power mingling with his. It was perfect and so…so right.

Norns help him, the experience was making Thor’s head spin. He remembered finally to touch everywhere he could.

He wrapped his hand around Loki’s cock and reveled in the feel of it.

He gazed at the beautiful arch of Loki’s neck as he threw it back to cry out again.

He was fascinated by the way a nipple budded pink and hard under his thumb and lips.

He kissed where he could, touched everything he could reach as he tried to figure out what Loki liked and didn’t like.

He laughed softly.

“Wh-what’s so funny?” Loki asked with a breathless whimper.

“It’s not funny, it’s just…I’m happy.” Thor was truly happy for the first time in a long time. He had his brother back and Loki felt the same way about him.

“I’m…” Loki swallowed. He didn’t admit his feelings easily. “I could be happy…if you’re with me.”

Just that was enough for Thor. He knew his brother, Loki didn’t like to admit any kind of weakness. The words that had spilled out of him at the shrine had not been voluntarily given. He hadn’t been able to stop. This was as close as Loki would come on his own for now.

They kissed again, passion flaring around them and coiling into his soul. This had always been there, always in the back of his mind. He’d ignored it because he could do nothing. Norns, why had he taken so long?

The first rays of dawn cast warmth upon his back as he filled Loki with his seed. His cry of release echoed in the mountains.

The air was charged, energy crackled a little, both from him and Loki.

Loki came a few moments later and he whimpered. “Thor, Thor…”

“I’ve got you,” Thor assured him. “I’ve got you.”

They both clung to each other, dazed as they watched the sun rise over the mountains. A vibrant array of colors filled the dewy morning air.

Loki gazed at Thor and the smile that followed made his heart ache. Loki shimmered in the sunlight and Thor knew he would never again see such a beautiful sight.

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

** CHAPTER NINE **

When the sun was high enough in the sky to make it impossible to ignore the day, the brothers left the shrine in silence. They didn’t hold hands or walk closely together. There was nothing more to say.

Thor was adamant that they would figure out some way to end the engagement and Loki hadn’t argued.

Once the Mountain of Glass was behind them and some miles away, Loki finally spoke, his voice husky. “Father will force me to marry her, he’s always wanted to get rid of me.”

“He doesn’t, Loki.” Thor knew it was pointless trying to argue that point.

Loki and Odin had been at odds since Loki was young. Loki’s tendency to want to stir up trouble landed him in it more often than not. Loki finally wanting to prove himself as useful had been something Odin was very proud of.

“He’s very proud of you.”

Loki gave Thor an incredulous look. “He barely cares that I’m alive, Thor. All he’s ever cared about is you.”

Thor grunted. This was an old argument, one that was impossible to win. “He would never force you to do this if you didn’t want it.”

“I disagree.” Loki shook his head and gave Thor a long look as if he had an idea. “Thor, we could…could go somewhere. Just…us.” There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “It would-“ Loki swallowed and reached out for Thor. He looked as if he was about to say something more, but then his shoulders sagged. His fingers curled and he clenched his jaw. “Never mind. The Nine Realms need Thor Odinson.” He sighed and put his hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Take us home.” His tone was bitter.

Thor knew better than to press Loki.

Loki and Odin would always be at odds with each other. He also wasn’t surprised Loki didn’t turn back into Fandral. Heimdall would have told Odin they had left Asgard by now.

He held his hammer up to the sky and called for transport back to Asgard.

Heimdall answered the call and they were transported quickly through the Bifrost to Asgard.

Thor straightened and glanced at Heimdall. The look that the guardian gave him told him all he needed to know.

“If it’s any consolation,” Loki told Thor nonchalantly, “he gives me that look all the time.” He patted Thor on the shoulder with a fake smile and barely concealed smirk. “We’d better get moving. I’m sure your Father will be delighted he didn’t have to send an army after us.”

Thor grunted at Loki and hooked his hammer back on his belt.

The two of them strode down the Bifrost knowing that Odin’s wrath was not going to be fun.

“So have you given any thought to what you’re going to say to Odin in order to release me? Somehow I seriously doubt that he’s going to like the fact that the real reason is because you want to fuck me. Do you have a plan at all?” Loki’s tone became increasingly piqued as they got closer to the palace. “Or are you just going to punch Sygyn until she agrees to end the betrothal?”  

Loki’s persistence in not referring to Odin as his own father irked Thor a lot. He gave Loki an exasperated look. “Loki, of course not.”

“No to punching Princess Sygyn or no to having a plan?” Loki looked like he was enjoying Thor’s discomfort, though mostly it was a defense mechanism. Thor was used to it.

“No to both,” Thor snapped.

“Wonderful,” Loki muttered. “I am sure it will be lovely living forever on Alfheim.”

“It won’t come to that.”

“Forgive me if I am not as certain as you are of your abilities to speak to Odin on my behalf. It’s worked out so well in the past,” Loki sneered.

Thor just growled at him. Loki took a step back as they turned into the palace.

They were met by guards who escorted them to Odin’s private lounge.

There, Princess Sygyn and her uncle waited as well.

Queen Frigga rose immediately when they entered. “Thank goodness!” she exclaimed. “You’re both alright!”

“Of course we’re alright,” Loki muttered. “We’ve not been gone that long.” He pretended to look annoyed at her fussing when she came over, but Thor knew he secretly liked it.

Thor looked over at the blonde that Loki was engaged to marry. She was beautiful and petite and everything he wasn’t.

He dared to look up at his father’s face and was taken aback by the barely concealed anger.

Sygyn lifted her chin. “Loki!” A smile lit up her face. She cast a worried look at her uncle who was absolutely furious. Then she wrung her hands and looked about to cry.  

“Are you alright?” Loki left Thor’s side much to Thor’s disbelief and went to take her hand, and she flung her arms around him. “You didn’t worry too much, I hope.”

“Loki I…” She gestured between the royals. “I told them the truth.” She looked down at the floor. “When you left, I knew I had gone too far.”

Loki’s eyebrows rose.

“After some discussion,” Frigga said somewhat smugly. She’d had a hand in that, apparently. She knew Loki better than he knew himself sometimes.

“The engagement still stands,” Odin said furiously. “This is an alliance between our realms. It was meant to happen!”

“Is that what you saved me for all these years, _Odin?_ ” Loki asked scathingly. “A diplomatic connection? A pawn?” He ignored Thor’s look. “Princess Sygyn, I know you know the truth, but your people do not.” He looked at Sygyn’s uncle. “I’m certain that once the truth is revealed, you will not wish to continue with this engagement.”

“Loki…” Thor tried to stop him.

But Loki was determined. He let the Asgardian guise drop.

Sygyn hid her face and her uncle looked even more furious than he had been.

“You are truly not Asgardian?” Sygyn’s uncle screamed.

“How observant of you.” Loki smiled.

Odin glared at Loki, equally furious. “How dare you! You are my son! You are a Prince of Asgard!” He was thankfully calmed a little by Frigga.

“The engagement is off.” Sygyn’s uncle took her by the arm and stalked out. “No daughter of Alfheim will ever marry a _Jotun_.” He spat at Loki’s feet.

The insult turned Odin’s ire from Loki to the Alfheim prince. Regrettable words followed which led to tempers flaring that boiled over between the two realms. A battle would be inevitable once the brother of the King of Alfheim left Asgard with his niece and their entourage. The whole exchange had been witnessed by Sygyn, her uncle, and a handful of their entourage who had accompanied them to Asgard for the wedding announcement, so there would be talk.

Throughout it all, Thor stared at Loki. He’d had a plan, he’d always had a plan. “Why didn’t you just show her your true self in the first place?” he asked.

Odin didn’t have time to deal with them.

Loki shrugged.

“Was all this a game?” Thor couldn’t help but wonder. His heart clenched and he felt raw and ached inside.

Loki glared at him, suddenly furious. “I told you the truth at the shrine.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m tired. Leave me alone.” Loki bristled at Thor’s tone and stalked off.

Thor could have kicked himself. He’d almost forgotten how easy it was to upset Loki when he was in this kind of mood. At any rate, there was a battle to fight if it came to that. He didn’t think it would last very long. Battles over insults never did.

He would talk to Loki after that.

TBC...


	10. Chapter 10

** CHAPTER TEN **

There were some that said it was inevitable.

Odin hiding Loki’s true nature as an adopted son from the Nine Realms would eventually cause strife if anyone was ever betrothed to him.

Loki and Odin had gone through several screaming matches about it but what was done was done. Unfortunately, the rift between them was impossible to fix, the insult that had been dealt could not be shrugged away as a prank by the Trickster.

A war between the two kingdoms began. There were losses on both sides and Odin blamed Loki for it. They constantly fought, but it was mostly verbal.

Thor could hardly blame Loki for being angry. Odin had lied, he’d raised them as brothers, equal to inherit the throne. Deep down he was angry at Odin too because he’d never been able to justify his attraction to his younger brother. For so long he thought he was a horrible person. He’d gotten over that a while back but it had only truly been Loki that he wanted.

Loki with his slim frame and long beautiful fingers and his dark wavy hair that Thor constantly ached to card his fingers through. Loki with his angles and small bones. Loki with his expressive face and emotions on his sleeve. He could be cold and frightening in one moment and in the next, a tantalizing temptation.

Thor could not count the number of times he had brought himself off to that face in secret. And yet, Mjölnir still considered him worthy.

Throughout the battle with Alfheim, Thor fought carefully. He didn’t want to kill if he didn’t have to, it was all over an insult and he never felt that warranted killing.

He knew eventually he would have to do something. It was getting out of hand.

He also hated seeing Loki goad their father. Nothing he could say would stop the two from clashing, even on the battle field.

Thor was sure that there had to be something that would bring them back together. They had never had an easy relationship, but anything was better than this hatred between them.

Throughout battle after battle, he wracked his brains. There was, in the end, only one solution. If something happened to him, they would be forced to stop fighting and he could end the war by incapacitating the troops on both sides. Unfortunately that would take all of his power.

He concluded that there was no other recourse.

Odin was too stubborn and the rulers of Alfheim were too proud to sue for peace. He would have to sacrifice himself to stop the war between both Asgard and Alfheim, and his father and brother. It would have to be just at the right moment.

He bided his time. He felt a little bad for them, he knew that Loki would not handle it well, but he had no choice.

There was a strategic point when a number of giants were sent in as cavalry and were ready to overwhelm the Asgardians. Thor decided this was the moment.

He ignored Loki’s cry when he swung Mjolnir and raised it to the sky. He flew up, calling down all the energy that he could. His goal was to spread out his lightning to every Alfheim soldier he could see. Incapacitating the majority of their army and thus securing the end of the war.

As far as plans went, it was risky. He had a lot to lose, but if something happened to him, his brother and father would cease their bickering and come together to help him. It was a long shot but his plans, even the crazy ones, tended to work. They didn’t always work the way he wanted them to, but they did achieve his goal.

He saw Loki waving at him to stop and ignored his brother.

Loki watched him helplessly as he soared into the air, higher than he had ever gone before. “What are you doing!?!” Loki yelled at him, panicked.

His father was too distracted fighting the Alfheim princes that he didn’t see what was happening until it was too late.

“THOR!” Loki screamed up at him.

Thor looked down at his brother. His heart ached, and blood pumped in his skin, he could feel a surge of power from being so close to his element.

He would love Loki until the day he died.

He’d never done this before. He was always cautioned by Odin not to push himself to the limit, not to be too close to the sky until he had control over his powers.

He was always taught to be conservative. Even Heimdall had warned of it.

The war had lasted too long, too many people were dead because of his mistake. Loki would never have done what he did had Thor not done what he did the first time he learned that Loki wasn’t his brother. He had no one to blame but himself.

The war had to end, and he, Thor, would make it so.

He opened himself up, let the energy flow through him, and directed it systematically with exactly the right amount of power to knock a person out, not kill them. That took a great deal of concentration and control to select every target, pick them out with enhanced sight provided by the power boost. He was at capacity. Every target acquired he pulled the energy into himself while his brother cried below for him to stop.

“THOR, NO. PLEASE! ODIN STOP HIM!” Loki bellowed frantically. He tried to shift and fly up as a bird but was forced back down due to the winds circling Thor.

It was too late.

Everyone paused to look up as the God of Thunder let out a great cry and power rained from the sky, finding each acquired target.

The battlefield below washed in light, like Odin’s power but with precision. Targets began to fall, knocked out by Thor’s lightning.

The sky rumbled as the earth trembled.

When the last target fell, Thor remained where he was for only a moment, then plummeted to the ground. Too fast for anyone to catch him, a great crater formed where he lay.

Rain fell.

Loki rushed down to him, as did others in the army.

Odin following soon after.

“You great stupid oaf!” Tears streamed down Loki’s cheeks as he slid on his knees down the now rain soaked mud of the crater.  “Thor, Thor…speak to me.” He held Thor’s face, pushing water away from it.

Thor’s eyes fluttered open weakly. “So that’s what it takes to get your attention.” He coughed, feeling himself fading.

“No.” Loki shook his head. “No, no you’re okay. You’ll be fine. You _must_ be fine.” He looked at Odin and looked back at Thor. “Father, you must help him.”

Thor reached up as if to touch Loki, but he hadn’t the energy to lift his own hand, only his fingers. He laughed softly, happy in spite of the great pain his body was in. “You called him Father.” 

Loki balanced Thor’s head in his lap. “Stupid…stupid oaf.” He broke down and sobbed. “This is all my fault.”

“You are correct, it is. He needs to get to the healers,” Odin declared, spitting blood from his own mouth and wiped muck from his face. “Fortunately, the war is over.”

The other side was signaling their surrender.

“Loki’s not to blame, father.” Thor choked out the words. “I started this.”

“Don’t try and talk,” Loki told him gently as he ignored Odin’s glare when his touches were far more intimate than was proper. 

Thor couldn’t force his eyes to stay open any longer and he closed them, but not before Loki leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly. He was just in time to see Odin’s scowl before he lost consciousness.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

** EPILOGUE **

When Thor awoke next he was no longer on the battlefield. He could feel the familiar calm of Asgard. He heard the quiet voices of healers whispering at the other end of the room. His vision cleared and he saw his mother smiling at him.

Before then he only remembered hazy images of healers working on him, his father or Loki coming to sit with him, or sleep next to him. His friends visiting. Throughout it all he was never conscious long enough to respond and he knew time had passed.

“Ah, there you are my darling,” smiled Frigga, relief in her eyes. “You have come back to us at last.”

“How long have I been out?” Thor yawned, feeling every bone ache.

“Too long,” said Frigga as her eyes clouded. She whispered aside to one of the healers, “Find Loki.”

“Tell me,” Thor demanded.

“Eight months,” Frigga responded with a sigh. “It took that long for your power to regenerate. What you did was very irresponsible. Not only that, it was downright stupid. You could have died.” She clutched her heart at the idea.

“The war is over?” Thor knew she had a right to be upset.

“Yes, it ended that day.”

He sat up gingerly. “Eight months.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

She brought him water to drink. “Not long in our life span,” Frigga reminded him. “Not long enough that your brother doesn’t still cry himself to sleep every night. Sometimes I even find him down here, though he is not supposed to be.”

“Loki…” Thor sighed. “Mother, I-“

Frigga held up her hand to stop. “I am aware of what has passed between you.”

Thor looked down at the floor, ready to be reprimanded. “And?”

“Your life is your own,” Frigga told him simply. “I cannot tell you that your father is thrilled but Loki told us everything.”

Thor looked back up, hardly daring to hope.

“Your relationship will be difficult, but we will not stand in the way.” Frigga’s tone was indulgent. She loved her boys. Both of them, even though Loki was not her own son. She loved him just as much. “You are not related by blood but you are blood brothers. You must honor that as you have been taught.”

“Yes, mother.” Thor nodded. “Thank you, mother.” He set down the water. He could feel the power still in him, he would be whole after some time.

“Thor!” Loki hadn’t taken that long to get to him. He rushed to the bed and grabbed Thor’s hands. “You’re conscious!” Then he let them go, a little flustered. “I don’t know, I mean…I…are you alright?”

Frigga dutifully turned her head when she saw what Thor was about to do.

With a soft smile, Thor drew Loki to him and kissed him. “I am now.”

At first Loki bristled a little, but eventually melted into the kiss. “I missed you.”

“I’m here now.” Thor assured him as his thumb stroked Loki’s jaw.

“I love you,” Loki burst out. “Thor I-I’ve loved you this whole time,” he stuttered trying to get the words out. “I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t ever do that again. I couldn’t handle it if you died. I-I’d die too.” He sniffled.

Thor smiled.

The sun shone above, parting the clouds in the sky and in his heart. For all the months that Thor was unconscious, it had rained and rained. There seemed to be no end to it.

He pushed Loki’s hair from his face. “I love you too and I am yours.”

This time when Loki kissed him, Thor knew that it wasn’t out of desperation, or a trick. This was real and he would cherish it for as long as it lasted.

**THE END**


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